Launchpad Omega

by The Pornadoes

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about

Seattle-based "Swingasurfajazzabilly" band The Pornadoes' new album Launchpad Omega is ready for blast off! Launchpad Omega takes the listener on a wild trip through the sonic landscapes of a bygone era with tunes about Martians, a gambling binge in Reno, ladies' hairdos, and undead surfers.

Self-proclaimed "World's Only Swingasurfajazzabilly Band" The Pornadoes connect the four corners of the great American musical baseball diamond: Jazz, Surf, Rockabilly, and Country Swing with their cinematic, guitar-driven style. Launchpad Omega takes the listener on a wild trip through the sonic landscapes of a bygone era with tunes about Martians, a gambling binge in Reno, the American railroad, and undead surfers.

This is the Pornadoes' third album. It marks a new direction for the band, as they integrate new musical influences and vocals into the instrumental country/surf style of their two previous recordings.

Jason "Mr. Goessl" Goessl (guitar) helms the band, switching effortlessly from the finger-picked jazz style of Chet Atkins to the blistering rock 'n roll riffs reminiscent of Link Wray. J. "Jasper McCann" McIlvain (vocals) fronts the ensemble, equally comfortable as Darin-esque crooner or rockabilly wailer. Ethan "Chet Gracenote" Sobotta (bass), one of the foremost slap bass players in Pacific Northwest, is also possessed of a keen jazz sensibility and symphonic-level virtuosity. Tom "Tommy Ramshaft" Zgonc (drums) mixes the light-handed cymbal work of the greatest jazz drummers with the thundering beats of surf group greats like the Ventures. With McCann's witty, narrative lyrics and the ensemble's thoughtful arrangements, The Pornadoes deliver the finest in "new-fangled old-fashioned music" by updating genre tropes from the past with musical virtuosity and a modern mindset.

credits

released April 6, 2017

Jason "Mr. Goessl" Goessl: Lead Guitar
J. "Jasper McCann" McIlvain: Vocals, Rhythm Guitar
Ethan "Chet Gracenote" Sobotta: Acoustic and Electric Bass
Tom "Tommy Ramshaft" Zgonc: Skins
Engineered by: Tom Meyers of Ground Control Recording
Mixed by: Tom Meyers of Ground Control Recording
Mastered by: Evan Schiller of Zulusound Studio

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about

The Pornadoes Seattle, Washington

The Pornadoes formed in 2011 when Midwest transplants Jason Goessl, Tom Zgonc, and Ethan Sobotta were inspired to create music that embodied the spirit of their homeland. Goessl, the curator and musical director of the project, formed the group as a means to satisfy yet another diversion. The band’s blend of country western, jazz, and bluegrass flavorings bloom with refreshing cinematic qualities. ... more

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Track Name: Mission To Mars
Got our jet packs stacked on the launching pad
We’re ready and standing by
The cosmic Caddy is fueled up
And we’re just about ready to fly
Well the read-out says that everything’s hip,
And the boys are ready for fun
Gonna flip your lid when the countdown starts-
7-6-5-4-3-2-1!

Blast oFF! … Through the stratosphere,
Blast oFF! …Through the night!
Step on the gas and we’re lightning fast, quicker than a beam of light
Blast oFF!... Through the stratosphere,
Blast oFF!... To the Stars
Split atoms for power, we’ll be there in an hour
We’re on a mission, we’re on a mission,
We’re on a mission to Mars

Well over on Venus they’re real square
They don't know how to swing
And don’t even ask about Mercury
Unless Kelvin in your thing
Gonna get real loose on some Martian hooch
Gonna dig all the martian chicks
At the Orbit Lounge we’ll dance above the ground
Zero-gravity gettin’ our kicks

Blast oFF!.. Through the stratosphere,
Blast oFF!.. Through the night
Step on the gas and we’re lightning fast, quicker than a beam of light
Blast oFF!… Through the stratosphere,
Blast oFF!... To the Stars
Let the jet-setters croon as they fly to the moon
We’re on a mission, we’re on a mission,
We’re on a mission to Mars

(We’re on a mission!) Here from planet earth
(We’re on a mission!) To find a brave new world
(We’re on a mission!) I can be your meteor man
(We’re on a mission!) And you can be my galaxy girl

Blast oFF!... Through the stratosphere,
Blast oFF!... Through the night
Step on the gas and we’re lightning fast,
Quicker than a beam of light
Blast oFF!... Through the stratosphere,
Blast oFF!... To the Stars
Split atoms for power, we’ll spalsh down in an hour
We’re on a mission, we’re on a mission,
We’re on a mission to Mars
Track Name: Drive All Night ('Til I Get To You)
I got a hunger
Like a fire that I can’t put out
Say it’s a wonder
I can keep a thought in my head
Cause your lovin’s something I’ve-a gone too long without
I need your cherry-red, turbo-charged 12-o-clock love tonight
I need your cherry-red, turbo-charged 12-o-clock love tonight

Drive All Night till I get to you
Gonna Drive All Night don’t you leave me blue
I got full tank of gas and the road is clear
And I’m burnin’ up the highway in my highest gear
There ain’t no cop that can chase me down
And I’m hopin’ and a-prayin’ you ain’t out on the town
If you’re not home, I don’t know what I’ll do
Gonna drive all night till I get to you

I got a yearnin’
Something I never did feel before
You got me burnin’
Like a 4-alarm fire
I’ve only had one kiss but I want more more more
Of your cherry-red, turbo-charged 12-o-clock love tonight
I need your cherry-red, turbo-charged 12-o-clock love tonight

Drive All Night till I get to you
Drive All Night don’t you leave me blue
There’s 300 miles between you and me
Don't know the speed limit cause you’re all I can see
Got a fresh pack of smokes tucked up in my sleeve
If you say yes tonight then I may never leave
But if you ain't home, I don’t know what I’ll do
Gonna drive all night 'till I get to you
Gonna drive all night 'till I get to you
Gonna drive all night 'till I get to you
Gonna drive all night ….
'Till I get to you
Track Name: Night Boat To Havana
There’s a boat at the docks in Miami
It sails at a quarter past nine
When it casts of from shore, you wont know what’s’ in store
Or the things that I’ve got on my mind

Watch the lights disappear on the skyline
As the boat sails away from the pier
Just a couple of hours, and a few whiskey sours
Before the island of Cuba is near

A daiquiri here, a daiquiri there
And then we’ll pause for a game of roulette
(come on, seventeen!)
Then we’ll cash in our chips and I’ll kiss your sweet lips
As we dance to a jazz quintet

We’ll be worlds away from our troubles
When we dine at Café By The Sea
With salted wind in your hair, we’ll begin our affair
Take the night boat to Havana with me
Take the night boat to Havana with me

At La Florida Bar, we’ll kiss under the stars
Then stroll to Hotel Nacional
(as Mr. & Mrs. Smith!)
Take a dip in the pool then well neck in the cool
On a bench in the Parque Central
`
We’ll watch the sun rise from the Prado
Underneath the cool shade of the trees
There’s romance and excess if you just acquiesce,
Take the night boat to Havana with me.
Take the night boat to Havana with me.
Track Name: Union Station
When the train rolls in to Kansas City….
My gal will wear her finest frock
She’ll meet me down at Union Station…
And we’ll kiss right under that big ol’ clock

When I get back home to Kansas City
The lovin’ will never stop
We’ll head to 12th and Vine
And have a real fine time

When I get to Kansas City,
When I get to Kansas City,
When I get to Kansas City, Kansas City Mine

I want some steak and potatoes and an ice cold beer
The sound of Charlie Parker ringin’ in my ear
There may be lots of cattle but it’s no cow town,
I’m off to Kansas City, Kansas City bound!

Here comes the number 20, east from Abeline
Aint’ she the prettiest engine that you ever seen?
And Southward from Des Moines, there’s the number 9
And the number 6 from Texarkana is comin' in right on time

I see the Silver Streak Zephyr down on platform 4
The fireman’s wavin’, and she’s ready to go
And bound for New Orleeans, there’s the Southern Belle,
If you listen to that whistle, think of the stories that train could tell...

All the fellas wear their two-tones and their hats and vests
the ladies sport their heels and their Sunday best
the Paris of the Plains is know for class and style
When I get to Kansas City, gonna stay a while

When I meet my gal in Kansas City
We’ll walk together arm in arm
We’ll take a stroll down on to Main Street
To the Savoy and all of its charms
When I get back home to Kansas City
The lovin’ will keep me warm
We’ll go to 12th and Vine
And have a real fine time

When I get to Kansas City,
When Iget to Kansas City,
When I get to Kansas City, Kansas City Mine
Track Name: October Surf
Sunrise over the pine trees
The temperature’s fifty nine
We’ll have to wait
Till the new year
To ride the returning tide

The Beach is empty and silent
Excwpt for the crash of the waves
Time to think about Halloween now
And keeping the zombies in their graves

The fires go out on the beach
And the days are shorter now
The wind from the north blows the waves
With a fearful roaring howl

The ocean is filled up with corpses
After dusk, the beach is a place we dread
The harvest moon has the werewolves howling
They call out to the surfers of the undead

The fires go out on the beach
And the days are shorter now
The wind from the north blows the waves
With a fearful roaring howl

They shamble toward the surf
HANG TEN!

The fires go out on the beach
And the days are shorter now
The wind from the north blows the waves
With a fearful roaring howl

The riptides of evil are calling
for the ghouls to crawl out of the earth
Better pack your stakes and holy water
If you dare to ride the October Surf
Track Name: Dodge City
Driving east from the Rocky Mountains
and from Denver, their jewel in the west
There’s a warrant that’s made you an outlaw
So you play your cards close to your chest

There is no one you can call as an ally
No one you can call as a friend
No family you can call for a favor
So you drive as if this is the end

in the heat of the summer when you have no relief
and you don’t have a dime to you name
You can’t buy a Pepsi to hold to your brow
all you have to hold on to is shame

in the heat of the summer when you have no relief
and you don’t have a dime to you name
When the red lights flash in your rear view mirror
Dodge City is the end of the game

You open the driver’s door slowly
As the sheriff gets out of his car
You can see Boot Hill in the distance
And remember to aim for his star

He pulls his gun out of its holster
And he meets your cold eyes with a stare
You take your aim at your judge and jury
And the bullets start to fly through the air

B2
In a town called Dodge City, you’ll never escape
The wounds you’ll never survive
As the your vision goes black you remember
The warrant said dead or alive

The warrant said dead or alive
Track Name: Tall Cool Blonde
T-t-t-t-TORY!!!!!

T-t-t-t-TORY!!!!!

5, 6, 7, 8!!!!!

T-t-t-t-TORY!!!!!
Track Name: Victory Rolls
There’s a brand new chick that’s on the scene
Like a brunette version of Norma Jean
Smokes Lucky Strikes and drinks red wine
And I’m gonna make her mine all mine
But it ain’t the skirt that’s cut to there,
It’s about the way she does her hair

Well I don’t know where she got if from
From her pappy or her mom
But when she looks that way
She’s like Enola Gay
‘cause she’s about to drop a bomb

oh oh oh Victory Rolls!

She works all day at the factory
But her past is shrouded in mystery
Hits the juke joint every night
Always plays it cool, never seems uptight
Got a red bandanna and lipstick too
Like the pin-up girl you wish you knew

Well she never was no flying ace,
But she’s my hero you can bet
Cause with hair that high
stacked up to the sky
She’s a Goddamn Patri-ette!

oh oh oh Victory Rolls!

Well I’d stand up and salute her
If it wouldn’t be obscene
But with that coiffure, you can be assured
She’s a riveting rockabilly queen!

oh oh oh Victory Rolls!
Track Name: (I'm Just A Half Of Bottle Of GinFrom) Falling In Love With You
Leather booths, and candlelight
The cannelloni’s great tonight
You’re gorgeous in your blue chiffon
And I love the perfume you’ve got on
I can see an expectation, I’m certain that it’s true
And there’s a welling of affection that
I must express to you….

I’m just a half a bottle of gin from falling in love with you
I know it sounds like a sin, but nothing else will do
The conversation’s been scintillating
But I’ve got to go and take my medicine
And that’s gin

There’s a world of wonder and possibility In your gaze
But if this thing's going to progress, there can be no delays
I can’t say the words you want to hear
'Till I make these martins disappear
The dance floor’s waiting, much to my chagrin
So kindly pass that half a bottle of gin.

Well I love Hedge Trimmer and Gun Club too!
Olives or a twist will do!
Please add a half ounce of vermouth
Because without vermouth, boys? (It’s just uncouth!)
Line up them glasses, boy oh boy
Like William Powell and Myrna Loy
Please don’t think that I’m a heel,
It’s tough to tell you how I feel-
Excuse me, bartender! (Excuse me, bartender!)
Excuse me, bartender! (Excuse me, bartender!)

I’m just a half a bottle of gin from falling in love with you.
I can see you’re dreaming of white picket fences and tea for two
But before I’m fitted with pipe and slippers
And meet your next of kin
Please kindly pass (please kindly pass)
Please kindly pass (please kindly pass)
Please kindly pass that half a bottle of gin.
Track Name: Seven Card Stud
Well honey, I know I’ve told you truly
That I love you more than life itself
But it’s good that you know, when I hit Reno
There’ll be no women, craps, and keno
But there’s one place where I can’t help myself

When I’m drinkin’ at the Silver Dollar Bar
At Harold’s Club, the best saloon I’ve seen
I won’t hesitate after three manhattans
To find the table that fuels my passion
and mosey past the gals playing slot machines

In the corner there I hear the dealer calling
And I know I’m obliged no more to roam
And as much as I do love our house in Tucson,
Reno’s got the green green felt of home.

Seven Card Stud

Well my money’s on the table so deal me in
One up and two in the hole
After one card I’m four-to-the flush
And we’ve got three cards to go….
Seven Card Stud

I’ll call you from the Silver Dollar Bar
With one more manhattan in my hand
And sure it just might be right around midnight
But I promise things will turn out alright
When it comes to poker, I’m your man

I got rolled up trips and a lot of chips
Gonna wait for a sucker to play
There’s a cat who dreams he can beat me with queens
You can bet I’m gonna make him pay

When I’ve had my fill, I get up from the table
And bid farwell to the club that I adore
then drive my T-Bird right back home to Tucson
Where I’ll kiss you and tell you that I’m your…

Seven Card Stud
Track Name: Condemnation
Hey hey preacher man, don’t you come around this way
I haven’t got the patience for the thigns you’ve got to say…
I’d rather trust myself than put my trust i you
And live my life for doin’ what I want to do
There’s ladies here for lovin’ and the Devil gets his due
God knows I don’t need your condemnation
Condemnation, baby

My aunts and uncles, cousins, kin, my mom and dad
the good book always told them everything I done was bad
A hypocrite’s a problem everywhere I roam
Let he who’s without sin go on and cast that stone
No rock has ever hit me and I see I’m not alone
God knows I don’t need their condemnation
Condemnation, baby

Well the devil’s not in gambling, not in rock and roll,
He’s in Wheeling, West Virginia in those mines of coal
And in the mills that make the steel in Allentown
And in the hearts of misers tryin’ to keep the good men down
And the preachers try and tell you you’ll wear a golden crown
Just give your 10 percent before you’re rotting in the ground
They’re selling you a deal that will never come around
They're the ones deservin' condemnation
Condemnation, baby
Condemnation, baby
Condemnation